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Die Unfähigkeit mich zu ändern

The more things change, the more they stay the same. At the moment, that sentence best explains my tragic flaw; my inability to change.

I don't think I'm alone in this. The more I get to know other people, the more I realize it's kind of everyone's flaw: staying exactly the same for as long as possible, standing perfectly still just feels better somehow.

And if you are suffering...at least the pain is familiar. Because if you took that leap of faith, went outside the box, did something unexpected, who knows what other pain might be waiting out there?

Chances are it could be worse, so you maintain the status quo; choose the road already traveled, and it doesn't seem that bad; not as far as flaws go.

You're not a drug addict, you're not killing anyone...except maybe yourself a little.

When we finally do change, I don't think it happens like an earthquake or an explosion, where all of a sudden we're another person. I think it's smaller than that. The kind of thing that most people wouldn't even notice unless they looked really really close, which, thank God they never do.

But you notice it. Inside of you, that change feels like a world of difference, and you hope that it is; that this is the person you get to be forever...

that you'll never have to change again. (Zitat:Everwood)

So bin ich einfach nicht. Wie das Mädchen, dass auf jeden zugeht, sich jeder neuen Umgebung schnell anpasst und die Selbstbewusst ist.

Mir wird immer mehr bewusst, wie sehr ich meinen Freund enttäusche. Wir sind uns so gleich und doch er liebt die Menschen aus der Stadt, bei denen ich nie sein wollte. Er geht in die Kneipen, in die ich nie reingehen wollte. Er hat kein Problem mit zu meiner Freundin zu kommen und ich dafür umso mehr.

All das muss ich ändern. Nein, ich will es auch wirklich ändern. Es fällt mir nur so schwer.

Ich bin nunmal anders als er.

Manchmal denke ich wirklich wir passen nicht zusammen.

14.8.09 17:55
 


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